By Bob Stahl, Steve Flowers, Tara Brach
In residing together with your center vast Open, Steve vegetation, a well known mindfulness-based rigidity relief (MBSR) instructor, and Bob Stahl, writer of the bestselling Mindfulness-Based rigidity aid Workbook, aid readers use mindfulness to maneuver earlier the common emotions of disgrace and self-loathing and enhance better self belief and self-esteem.
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Additional info for Living with Your Heart Wide Open: How Mindfulness and Compassion Can Free You from Unworthiness, Inadequacy, and Shame
Example text
Feel the bodily sensations connected to the memories and emotions that came up as you considered your judgment, and move back and forth between these sensations and the thoughts and emotions a few times. Notice the difference between the mental formations (thoughts, emotions, memories) and the sensory formations (experiences of sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste). In this way, you can use the body to anchor in the here and now and defuse difficult thoughts and emotions, removing some of their charge.
As you follow this thread to see how your narrative developed, you may become angry. You may feel like blaming those who were supposed to take better care of you. That’s okay. These moments of anger and hurt may help you reclaim feelings that you’ve lost touch with. That said, it’s important to acknowledge at the beginning of this inner exploration that the goal is not to find fault or place blame, but only to better understand how you came to feel deficient and unworthy. Of course, there are horrible parenting failures that deeply injure children, and these kinds of traumatic injuries are often passed down from generation to generation until someone in the succession of wounded innocents breaks the chain and travels the path to healing.
But as long as you’re looking for and trying to correct your deficiencies, you’ll perpetuate feelings of inadequacy. In part, this is because searching for what’s wrong with you is certain to yield a great many things that do indeed appear to be wrong with you, at least from the perspective of a critical mind. This approach is actually one of the well-known pitfalls of scientific investigations: The search to prove a hypothesis can bias a researcher to investigate, and sometimes recognize, only those things that support the hypothesis.